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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna play at this open mic night later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember, I haven’t practiced. Panic mode activated! I rush back to my place, guitar in hand, and start strumming like a madman.

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